There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
