i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
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