And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize