Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
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