i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
