pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
