I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Randomize
