I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Randomize
