Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Randomize
