my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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