Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
