don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
