Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Randomize
