There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
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