so explain again why im purple
no
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
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