I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
