he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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