You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
