it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize