Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize
