im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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