i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Randomize
