I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
