can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
