i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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