NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
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