Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
I just gift wrapped bread.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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