Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Randomize
