i wish there were pregnant emoticons
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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