Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
