we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Everclear isn't food dammit
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
