Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
