Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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