Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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