dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
