you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
