I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
