Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
