It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Randomize
