I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Boobs speak an international language.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I came so hard my ears popped.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
