My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Randomize
