dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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