that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
