my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
