So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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