If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
one might say we're banned from that church
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Randomize
