she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
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