i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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