Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Randomize
