The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
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