I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize
