That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
