He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
where am i from again
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Randomize
