Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
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