just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize