your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
