Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
