if i died would you start the facebook group?
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
