butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
