Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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