you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
