im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
These tits shall not be calmed
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
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