You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
